Where do we begin?  Sometimes it’s just so hard to get started with something.  You sit there, waiting for inspiration to hit.  And then, the cloud part, angels start singing and you just start running and you just can’t stop.   I sat for a bit, listening to a little bit of everything on spotify and the radio and then, like the clouds parting, Closer by The Chainsmokers featuring Halsey started playing.  I was off and running.

Chainsmokers featuring Halsey – Closer

Lets start at the beginning with this pile.  The first two lines are:

Hey, I was doing just fine before I met you
I drink too much and that’s an issue but I’m okay

Clearly you are not “doing just fine” if you admit you drink to much and that’s an issue.  This is sign that you are not “okay.” It’s called alcoholism.

Then we move on to this gem:

Hey, you tell your friends it was nice to meet them
But I hope I never see them again

This guy is a class act – a drunk and a d-bag.  Follow that with:

“I know it breaks your heart
Moved to the city in a broke down car
And four years, no calls
Now you’re looking pretty in a hotel bar”

Correct me if I’m wrong but this turd moved without telling you and after 4 years radio silence, he shows up out of blue and thinks “damn I gotta get back with that!”  Oh hells to the no on that one son.

But since this was written by a couple of dudes, that doesn’t happen.  We move on with the dude fantasy that he can still hook up with her after 4 years of radio silence.

“So baby pull me closer in the backseat of your Rover
That I know you can’t afford”

way to keep a girl down.  Hit her with insult and a poor one at that.  Perhaps she can afford the Rover now that she got rid of your lazy drunk ass – just sayin’.

“Bite that tattoo on your shoulder
Pull the sheets right off the corner
Of the mattress that you stole
From your roommate back in Boulder”

OK, gross.  First off you stole it?  How do you steal a mattress from a roommate? And again -gross.  If your roommate was hooking up with dudes like this guy in the song, that mattress should have been burned long ago.  You need to get yourself to a clinic to get checkout.

“We ain’t ever getting older”

  btw – you are getting older.  I just lost about four minutes of my life listening to this shit storm of a song and by the time this song ends, I will expect repayment in full.

If you just can’t get enough of this song and it’s tribute to d-bag dudes, you can grab it from itunes