Episode #1 Description

 

Welcome to “What the Lyric?!?” In this episode, we bring our favorite bad lyrics from Pop Music (c. 2016-2019). One song from an artist who desperately wants to fix her “Reputation” with some cringe-y spoken-word lyrics. And another from a Brit whose time would best be spent learning to “let go” of the booze.

 

Transcript of Episode #1

 

Becky: Welcome to What the Lyric?!? — the podcast that confirms…yeah, that actually made it to radio.

 

Matt: Is it recording?

 

Becky: Oh now we’re recording. Oh fun!

 

Matt: Oh yay!

 

Becky: Hello everybody and welcome to What the Lyric?!? where we talk about how much we love awful, awful lyrics. A little bit about me: I’m Becky. I will listen to anything once, and over and over again if it’s really bad. And then there’s Matthew over here, my partner in crime…

 

Matt: You know, honestly, if you had to summarize my musical tastes, the best way to look at it would be to say that my go-to karaoke song is “Promiscuous” by Nelly Furtado ft. Timbaland.

 

Becky: So you know we have good taste. That goes without saying. How this whole podcast is going to work is…We have one song each that {…} we get to pick off the theme of the episode. Today’s theme is Pop Music from 2016 to 2019. We get to do a dramatic reading, and after the dramatic reading, we talk about why the lyrics are SO bad and why we had to call it out. All right, so starting first is…Matthew.

 

Matt: Okay.

 

Becky: Get ready.

 

Matt: Definitely get ready for this. So I chose a song…just to give you a little context for this: it comes from, I believe, August of 2017. So put yourself in that state of mind. It’s a year after the election; things are terrible…still.

 

Becky: I was probably high.

 

Matt: I mean, weren’t we all?

 

Becky: Yeah.

 

Matt: It is Seattle.

 

Becky: You’d have to be.

 

Matt: And so this person has decided to reshape their image and, you know, I’ll just let the lyrics speak for themselves:

 

“I don’t like your little games

Don’t like your tilted stage

The role you made me play

Of the fool, no, I don’t like you

I don’t like your perfect crime

How you laugh when you lie

You said the gun was mine

Isn’t cool, no, I don’t like you (oh!)”

 

Matt: And that’s the first stanza.

 

Becky: Okay, so I’m guessing… Who’d be packing heat in 2017, you said? August?

 

Matt: Uh huh. Changing the image!

 

Becky: Could be… Oh! Changing the image? Only because of the changing image thing, that would be Taylor Swift?

 

Matt: Correct.

 

Becky: Oh the Swifties.

 

Matt: But do you…do you know the song?

 

Becky: Oh Jesus! Is it that…It’s the one where she then breaks it down and says, “Oh, Taylor Swift isn’t here right now. Because she’s dead!” Something along those lines? *Laughs*

 

Matt: This would be “Look What You Made Me Do” by Taylor Swift.

 

Becky: Oh yes. *Repeats the phrase “Look What You Made Me Do” twice.* Or however the rest goes.

 

Matt: Exactly. And really, my choice for all of the songs in this podcast are based on what I like to call “Cringecore.”

 

Becky: I love that. We are going to copyright that.

 

Matt: *Laughs* Really any songs that have lyrics that [make you go] “Oh!” You’ve heard of cringe comedy; that’s kind of how I view these lyrics.

 

Becky: I like it.

 

Matt: And specifically the — what makes this so cringey is what you already mentioned, the, let’s find it…”I’m sorry the old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now” set to the background music of, “Ooh, look what you made me do.” “Why?” “Oh ‘cause she’s dead!

Becky: The old Taylor is, like, what? 23? 24? I mean, she’s not old.

 

Matt: She’s got a guitar. I mean, her…

 

Becky: She’s country. Country Taylor.

 

Matt: She’s Country-Pop.

 

Becky: Yeah.

 

Matt: Don’t you remember when it was just a love song, baby?

 

Becky: Oh man. Oh God. Ohh…Getting a little gag reflex going.

 

Matt: And don’t forget the “I knew you were trouble.”

 

Becky: Oh is that the one with the turtle sex noise meme?  *Laughs*

 

Matt: *Laughs* That is exactly what that is. *Laughs*

 

Becky: My favorite ever!

 

Matt: So really Taylor…I had a lot of options, just based on Taylor, but I have to admit, the lyrics are just…a mess. Let’s keep it going. I mean, we’ve already heard the first stanza.

 

Becky: Oh yeah.

 

Matt: But then she continues to say she doesn’t like being the fool, but “[she] got smarter, [she] got harder in the nick of time.”

 

Becky: How does one get harder when they’re carrying their cat around everywhere? I see a lot of photos of her with her cat. Don’t get me wrong, [I’m a] crazy cat lady, but I’m not taking Kink with me…My cat’s name is Kinky Disco. I’m not taking Kink with me to the grocery store, to the gym…Okay, I don’t go to the gym, but like, I’m not taking her out on a night on the town.

 

Matt: Unlike Taylor Swift, which I will also say I find it interesting that for a woman whose last name is Swift, she didn’t choose “faster” for the lyric. Like, that would have made AS much sense… “But I got smarter, I got faster in the nick of time.” Okay! I’ll still take that!

 

Becky: She got badder? I’ve never heard her swear! I’ve never seen her not smile.

 

Matt: She doesn’t swear in this song either. The real question, and we can answer this question at the end of the analysis, but what, what, WHAT did we make her do? I’m just very curious.

 

Becky: Maybe make her carry a cat around all the time. *Laughs*

 

Matt: *Laughs* We did this to ourselves.

 

Becky: Maybe she has to date all these DJs. Maybe we forced that on her with our expectations of her music and turtle sex noises.

 

Matt: And her Starbucks lovers!

 

Becky: Oh God, that’s right.

 

Matt: “But honey, I rose up from the dead. I do it all the time.” Necromancer, interesting. “I’ve got a list of names and yours is in red, underlined. I check it once, then I check it twice. Oh.”

 

Becky: Wait, what does that mean? What are you doing? You checked it. Yup, still there.

 

Matt: Based on the lyrics alone, we have realized that she has gotten harder in the nick of time and also, presumably, become an elf of the Santa variety. She’s making lists; she’s checking them twice. Don’t know why she’s using a red pen.

 

Becky: Well it is festive. Red — Christmas-y.

Becky: See I can’t get past the “hard” part. She’s not like, all of a sudden, turned to Nicki Minaj-hard. Or like, back in the day, Lil Kim hard.

 

Matt: She’s not going to be Beyonce carrying around a baseball bat, breaking windows.

 

Becky: No, but she did bust out the band, the marching band.

 

Matt: Oh we can always get into that!

 

Becky: I saw that! I saw that!

 

Matt: But if that’s the case, then she still did not get harder in the nick of time because she’s still following Beyonce.

 

Becky: Yeah. And pink isn’t really a “hard” color for me. Like, it’s not a color I go, “Oh! I see Notorious B.I.G. is wearing pink. He’s hard.” That isn’t why I would have classified him as hard. I don’t think I’ve ever seen B.I.G. [in pink.] Maybe he did? I don’t know; I’d have to go back and look now.

 

Matt: *Laughs*

 

Becky: I feel like I’d have to look that up. *Laughs*

 

Matt: And then really, the rest is chorus, which in case you haven’t realized it, is just: “Ooh, look what you made me do. Look what you made me do. Look what you made me do. Look what you just made me…OOH, Look what…” Okay, I think we’ve got the idea.

 

Becky: I feel like someone got lazy. I feel like that happens a lot in lyrics. And that’s lazy.

 

Matt: Which part?

 

Becky: The just repeating the same line over and over and over again.

 

Matt: Yeah, it’s not a good look. And worse, is the next stanza:

 

“I don’t like your kingdom keys” Kingdom keys.

 

Becky: Keys? As in house keys? Car keys?

 

Matt: Yeah, apparently someone’s got a kingdom.

 

“They once belonged to me.”

 

Becky: Okay.

 

Matt: Uhhh, questions?

 

“You ask me for a place to sleep

Locked me out and threw a feast”

 

And the best part of this is at the very end of the line is, “What?!” So even Taylor looked at these lyrics, “Locked me out and threw a feast…WHAT?!” And they just included it.

 

Becky: Yeah, they said fuck it. It’s Taylor Swift; it’s going to be huge. That’s exactly how it happened.

 

Matt: And ultimately, it was.

 

Becky: I know!

 

Matt: “The world moves on, another day, another drama, drama

But not for me, not for me, all I think about is karma

And then the world moves on, but one thing’s for sure (sure)

Maybe I got mine, but you’ll all get yours.”

 

Becky: All of a sudden we’ve gone from one person to all?

 

Matt: Oh yeah. So whoever took her kingdom keys apparently stole her keys, stole her kingdom and was like, “No bitch, you don’t live here anymore.”

 

Becky: Could kingdom keys *laughs* be a metaphor for virginity, here?

 

Matt: But then which one? Which one of the Starbucks lovers is guilty of that.

 

Becky: *Laughs* I wish I had kids so that I could be like, “Kids, keep your kingdom keys as long as you can. Just lock them away.”

 

Matt: “Your chastity belts won’t rust. Don’t worry.”

 

Becky: “Just keep those kingdom keys to yourself and be sure to give them to the right person.”

 

Matt: Abstinence-only education.

 

Becky: “And if you are going to give them away, just keep them protected.”

 

Matt: Just keep them on a carabiner.

Becky: *Laughs* Those Schneider keys that had the chain you could just pull and snap back.

 

Matt: Exactly!

 

Becky: Keep them safe. You’ve got to know where they are at all times.

 

Matt: Taylor did not follow that advice. She is thinking about karma apparently. She’s not going to do anything about how angry she is, which again really contradicts the meaning of the song.

 

Becky: The “Look what you made me do”!

 

Matt: Exactly. She’s like, “Oh karma will take care of it. I won’t do anything about it except sulk.”

 

Becky: I’m going to sit and just bitch about it.

 

Matt: Yeah. And honestly, the rest of the song. A) It goes back to, “I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time.” Return to that and then another amazing chorus of “Look what you made me do.” And the final, original set of lyrics is:

 

“I don’t trust nobody and nobody trusts me.

I’ll be the actress starring in your bad dreams.

I don’t trust nobody and nobody trusts me.

I’ll be the actress starring in your bad dreams.”

 

And it just repeats until it transitions flawlessly into “Ooh, look what you made me do.”

 

Becky: Taylor. Taylor, I get that you’re young, probably started partying, started drinking a little bit and that’s where this came from, maybe. I don’t know.

 

Matt: Girl’s nearly in her 30s.

 

Becky: Yeah, I don’t get it.

 

Matt: Britney had a weird stage; I’ll allow Taylor one, but this was a…

 

Becky: Britney had a good one because she shaved her head.

 

Matt: *Laughs* She put on a show!

 

Becky: *Laughs* She is a showman through and through. Like, she shaved her head, tried to attack somebody with an umbrella…

 

Matt: I don’t remember the umbrella…

Becky: Oh yeah, that was after she shaved her head. I think she went for somebody’s car window because they were taking photos of her in the car, so she went for that. Yeah. That’s a good photo to look up. It’s priceless.

 

Matt: That’s the next segment.

 

Becky: Yeah, that’s the second podcast. Photos of people going crazy.

 

Matt: That’s the first one!

 

Becky: Okay, so I think, universally, this song is incredibly awful. I think we can both agree.

 

Matt: Do we have a rating for this?

 

Becky: I would say she’s mild. Like, on a scale of 1 to 5 — like, 5-star spicy crappy lyrics — she’s probably right in the middle there.

 

Matt: I am inclined to agree.

 

Becky: It’s like a 3-4.

 

Matt: Right. It depends on your own taste buds, your ethnicity. Certainly when it comes to this song.

 

Becky: Oh god, yeah.

 

Matt: Honestly, on a scale of 1 to 5 yikes, I’m inclined to give it a 3. What nudges it toward 4 is the spoken lyrics…

 

Becky: Yeah.

 

Matt: “The old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now.” “Why?” “‘Cause she’s dead.” And then I just hear the teenager in me slam the door and yell, “You’re not my real mom and you never will be!”

 

Becky: *Laughs* I will say, also, [those lyrics are] my favorite part of the song.

 

Matt: It’s only the original part of the song!

 

Becky: It really is! It really is. That’s like her acting out. And you’re like, “Oh. Ohh. Taylor got edge.”

 

Matt: To be honest, what would have kept it at a 3, if they would have just deleted the spoken word portion. This would have been a goth “Call Me Maybe.”

 

Becky: Yeah. Ooh, yes! I like that. I agree with you on that one. So we’re going a solid 3 to 4 yikes on the awful lyrics scale.

 

Matt: I am inclined to agree. It’s not the worst. It’s certainly not the best lyrics.

 

Becky: It’s definitely not. *Noise of a truck* Sorry for the trucks in the background, people! This is what happens when you record in an old building. Alright, so mine…Honestly, I don’t know when it came out. This song is the reason this podcast is existing because my coworker heard me bashing these lyrics and said, “Oh my god, please record this.” So Ellen, here you go!

 

Oh God, how do I do this? Okay:

 

“I met you in the dark, you lit me up

You made me feel as though I was enough

We danced the night away, we drank too much

I held your hair back when

You were throwing up

 

Then you smiled over your shoulder

For a minute, I was stone-cold sober

I pulled you closer to my chest

And you asked me to stay over

I said, I already told ya

I think that you should get some rest”

 

Becky: And then it goes into the chorus. Go ahead, see if you can guess this one. Yeah.

 

Matt: I’m going to need some more lyrics.

 

Becky: I’m going to go into the chorus right now:

 

“I knew I loved you then

But you’d never know

‘Cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go

I know I needed you

But I never showed

But I wanna…”

 

Becky: I can’t even get to this part without laughing.

 

“But I wanna stay with you until we’re grey and old

Just say you won’t let go

Just say you won’t let go”

 

Becky: …Which is the name of the song.

 

Matt: Ohhhh my God.

 

Becky: That is James Arthur’s “Say You Won’t Let Go.” Now James Arthur, if I remember correctly won, like, X Factor, which is a British TV show like…

 

Matt: America’s Got Talent?

 

Becky: Yeah! I think it’s something similar.

 

Matt: Are there buttons?

 

Becky: There are people who are guest judges or whatnot. I think it might just be music, so it’d be like an American Idol situation. And [this song] is one of the more popular wedding songs, which I find offensive.

 

Matt: Oh no.

 

Becky: Yes! Yes, this is played at weddings. People pick this as their wedding song. So I’m going to go ahead and we’re just going to start again. So he starts with:

 

“I met you in the dark, you lit me up

You made me feel as though I was enough”

 

Sweet enough sentiment. Right?

 

Matt: I will say it sounds like they’re both getting high at a party, which I’m just like, “Oh okay.”

 

Becky: They’re young. They can do that. I mean, I don’t remember the last time we’d dance the night away. Here’s where I start to have some issues with this being at all a good song and even a wedding song, where he says:

 

“I held your hair back when

You were throwing up”

 

Now, there’s so many things here for me. You just met her and now you’re holding her hair back. While she’s puking.

 

Matt: Wow.

 

Becky: Do you want to be with a girl who can’t handle her booze is my number one question. *Laughs* Like, is that a thing?

 

Matt: I mean, I have to hand it to him. I can definitely see a couple of things wrong with the dating culture. Number one — women who look at this song and think, “You know what? I’m just looking for a man who’s going to hold my hair back 30 minutes after I’ve met him.”

 

Becky: She’s gotten to that point. It’s like in Singles where she’s like, I was looking for all these things, and now I’m just looking for a man who says “God bless you” instead of “Gesundheit” when they sneeze. That’s where she’s at.

 

Matt: I mean, it’s a pretty low threshold.

 

Becky: Yeah.

 

Matt: But I also think it’s very much a critique on straight men who are like — there’s no such thing as a red flag to me. She’s vomiting in a toilet? I bet I could get laid tonight!

 

Becky: She is so beyond her means; if anything, we’re going in for the kill. Okay, so now it says:

 

“You smiled over your shoulder”

 

Becky: All I can picture at this point is puke-face, which is puke stuck in the teeth, her make-up is now down around her cheeks, she’s got raccoon-face. She is that girl at the end of the night who is missing a shoe. And is holding the other one in somebody else’s shoe in her hand. Her purse is open; shit spilling out all over the place. That’s the girl I’m picturing, and you’re like…”Yeah.”

 

Matt: Say you won’t let go!

 

Becky: *Laughs* This is the girl for me. Forever. No. No, I can’t…And a wedding song! I’m going to keep saying this. This is a wedding song. People pick this for their freaking wedding.

 

Matt: See, what I love about that is that it explicitly gives the couple permission to drink too much, to dance the night away. And THEN, as she’s puking, he’s going to be like, “It’s like the first night we met!” *Laughs*

 

Becky: Open bar at this wedding! Very clearly. We’re not going to have food, just booze because we’re going to relive our first night. I can’t. And then he says:

 

“For a minute, I was stone-cold sober”

 

Becky: Now, when you sobered up for that second, did you go, “What the fuck am I doing?” Because that’s [when] I would have gone, “What am I doing? Why? This girl is puking and I’m holding her hair back and that’s the girl I think…”

 

But then he went, “Nope! We’re good. I don’t know what that was about. I’m pushing that to the back. Pushing it to the back. That is not a red flag in any way.” I don’t get it. And clearly, puke-face is a turn-on for this guy because then he pulls her close.

 

Matt: He’s got a thing.

 

Becky: *Gagging noises* It’s giving me the gag reflex thinking about it. Then he says:

 

“And you asked me to stay over

I said, I already told ya”

 

Classy. He’s good.

 

Matt: Wow.

 

Becky: Yeah:

 

“I said, I already told ya

I think that you should get some rest”

 

Becky: Now I’m not sure if he’s just being nice because she just lost the contents of her entire stomach in front of him and he doesn’t want to embarrass her any more or he’s like, “I’m going to go in for the kill even though I said ‘Let’s just get some rest.’”

 

Matt: He’s closing the deal. Honestly, if he cared, he’d be like, “We’re going to get you some water and medical attention.”

 

Becky: This is a “Me Too” movement issue.

 

Matt: Yeah, a #MeToo moment.

 

Becky: And then he goes on: “I knew I loved you then.” Got to be a fetish. Like, puke-face fetish. I don’t know. Not anything I go for. “But you’d never know.” Yeah because she’s black-out drunk. Who remembers during black-out drunk-ness? And then he says: ‘Cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go.” Yeah because she could die of alcohol poisoning. *Laughs* There could possibly be a death that your fingerprints are on the body now.

 

Matt: He’s scared of letting go and yet, at no point does he think, “You know, there are medical professionals who are paid to take care of this.”

Becky: Yeah, maybe urgent care. That’s all I’m saying.

 

Matt: She deserves better at this point.

 

Becky: Yeah, and then he goes into, “I know I needed you.” More like she needed you rather than the other way around?

 

Matt: Yeah, she needed you in the same sense that she needed to be hydrated.

 

Becky: Yeah, maybe needed to be told, “Maybe not that last drink.”

 

Matt: Exactly. And this is going to be a bad decision.

 

Becky: Stop spinning while you’re dancing. Doing that little spinny-dance. That hippie dance thing. I don’t know. I don’t dance. I have no idea what the kids do these days. So then we go into the he wants to stay with her when she’s gray and old.

 

When you’re gray and old and you’re still puking into a toilet, holding her hair back. That’s old.

 

Matt: My brain went the opposite direction. Of course he’s excited for her to get gray and old because then all sorts of bodily functions go haywire. He definitely has a kink for this.

 

Becky: He’s waiting for the diaper stage.

 

Matt: Yep. 100%.

 

Becky: So then we get to the next bit:

 

“I’ll wake you up with some breakfast in bed

I’ll bring you coffee with a kiss on your head”

 

This is an intervention. She’s daydrinking; she’s hungover. That’s what this has to be.

 

Matt: Too many damn mimosas.

 

Becky: “And I’ll take the kids to school.” …Because Mom’s had too much Mom-juice? What is happening here? Now we’ve established there’s a cycle. There’s a problem. “Wave them goodbye.” Because Mommy’s going to rehab and you’re not going to see her for a little while is what I’m getting. I could be wrong. “And I’ll thank my lucky stars for that night.” The puke night? You’re thanking your stars because now you are having to take over care — ALL the care of your kids — because your wife can’t get out of bed because she’s been day-drinking and going on the Mom-juice.

 

Matt: Alright, two things. Well, actually, two kinks really come out of this. Number one, he definitely has a thing for girls who are messes. Like, full-on messes. Number two, the dude was playing long-game. If I can get with an alcoholic woman, enable it…

 

Becky: There will be diapers sooner [rather] than later!

 

Matt: Exactly. *Laughs* And I cannot wait to get custody of the kids who don’t exist yet. So…interesting, James Arthur.

 

Becky: Maybe that’s all he wanted was kids. And he just needed some drunk, crazy lady that would believe anything he said to her just to get those kids.

 

Matt: I hate to say it, but I know a fair number of straight women who, if a dude held their hair back, they’d be like, “Aw, he’s got a caring, tender soul.”

 

Becky: Yeah, I probably would have said that in my twenties. I’m also 45 now, so I’m like, “There’s something wrong with this guy.”

 

Matt: That’s because it’s amazing when you get out of your twenties…the clarity through which you can see the world!

 

Becky: Oh my God, yeah. Okay, so then we go back into the whole, “When you looked over your shoulder. For a minute, I forget that I’m older.” And here’s where I become an asshole for picking this song because the next line is, “Because you’ve been too busy hiding her alcoholism from the family.” The song’s about alcoholism! People are playing this for weddings! Again, top wedding song — alcoholism is mentioned in the lyrics.

 

Matt: Wait, repeat that exact lyric.

 

Becky: “Because you’ve been too busy hiding her alcoholism from the family.”

 

Matt: Wait, who is? He is?

 

Becky: He is. His whole little stanza is:

 

“When you looked over your shoulder

For a minute, I forgot that I’m older

Too busy hiding her alcoholism from the family.”

 

Matt: This took a turn…

 

Becky: I know! I’ve never gotten past the first stanza where he’s holding her hair and she’s puking. No idea that they would all of a sudden mention alcoholism. THEY MENTION ALCOHOLISM. How is this a wedding song? You people have got to listen past the first stanza. And then it goes into, “I wanna dance with you right now.” I’m assuming now because shouldn’t she be in rehab? And then, “Oh, and you look as beautiful as ever. And I swear that everyday’ll get better.” Everyday’ll. That’s everyday, apostrophe, L, L. Get better. “You make me feel this way somehow.” I don’t know. What would that way be? Afraid of drinking?

 

“I’m so in love with you

And I hope you know

Darling your love is more than worth its weight in gold.”

 

Now we’ve just completely gone past the alcoholism. That was just a little blip. Just a little mention.

 

Matt: Just going to drop that in as a reminder.

 

Becky: Yeah. Then this one gets me, “I wanna live with you/Even when we’re ghosts.” Really?

 

Matt: That’s eternity.

 

Becky: That’s really…no.

 

Matt: I have yet to meet a single person in my living life who I would want to spend an actual eternity with.

 

Becky: I don’t want to spend that much time with my cat.

 

Matt: Ah! But see, that is the precise lyric that made that a wedding song.

 

Becky: Yeah. OR “I’m gonna love you till/My lungs give out.” Till my lungs give out?

 

Matt: But then he just literally contradicts what he’s just saying. He’s like, “I’m going to…” What?

 

Becky: Be with you even when we’re ghosts. But now it’s just till my lungs give out. He backed it up a bit. He was like, “Ooh…”

 

Matt: There was a rug that he pulled out from underneath her, which is that he doesn’t believe in ghosts.

 

Becky: OR he’s thinking he’s got a better shot in the afterlife of hooking up with, like, Anna Nicole Smith or something.

 

Matt: I’m guessing. But no one says what Anna Nicole Smith looks like after she died. What form of Anna Nicole?

Becky: He’s thinking ahead. FAR ahead since he cut it back down to just till my lungs give out. “I promise till death we part like in our vows”?

 

Matt: Yikes. That’s just poor sentence construction.

 

Becky: Well, again, this song is about alcoholism and it’s a top 10 wedding song.

 

Matt: That’s a winner.

 

Becky: I think it’s a top 10 wedding song mainly because he’s British and the Brits do love their booze. *Laughs* So I’m sure it hits home with a lot of Brits.

 

Matt: I’m going to give you the win on this one. It was never a competition. I’m giving you the win. That is a clusterfuck of a song.

 

Becky: That TOP hit…I don’t even know what it topped at, but it’s up there. Not only that…WEDDING SONG.

 

Matt: First of all, he didn’t just have a thing for ladies who were messes, he then also proceeds to move forward with it to be like, “You know what I really love about you? How you hide your debilitating substance use from your family. That’s a major turn-on for me.”

 

Becky: See? He gave us a little hint in the beginning, and we’re all like, “This guy’s just an idiot. They’re just young.” And then it’s, “Oh shit. They’re alcoholics.”

 

Matt: She’s got a problem! And then it should have just been, “I’ll love you until we’re ghosts, which will be soon because your liver won’t last much longer.”

 

Becky: Because cirrhosis is bad. I say this is right up there. I say this is a 4.5 on the yikes scale for me.

 

Matt: I was precisely thinking somewhere between 4 to 4.5, but I will give it credit. There’s no way it’s going to be a 5, only because there was an emotional journey there.

 

Becky: There was. He took you on a little bit of a ride, albeit a crazy rollercoaster of alcoholism clusterfucks.

 

Matt: I don’t think I would have ever..No, no no. AMENDMENT: I would have never guessed there was an actual major pop song that had the word alcoholism in it.

 

Becky: Now I feel like I’ve got to look it up, but he was up there. I can’t remember where it was, but it played a lot, and I was like, did anyone actually listen to these lyrics before it went anywhere outside of the recording studio?

 

Matt: I think they saw it and thought to themselves, “Oh my God — the UK — this is going to be relatable.

 

Becky: *Laughs* These people drink like fish and they are going to love this song. Alright, let’s see if I can find it…where did this damn song hit. I can’t believe this song about alcoholism made the charts. Let’s see, Brit Awards…Video of the Year and Single of the Year in 2017. Also, Oh thank God, it wasn’t for Teen Choice Awards. Thank goodness!  He also won American New Artist of the Year that year!

 

Matt: No. This is #MeToo moment. First of all it was a #MeToo moment and then, following that, was alcoholism and neglect?

 

Becky: Peaked at number 11 on the Billboard Hot 100. In May 2018, it was reported that The Script, also another classic band, had launched legal proceedings against him due to alleged copyright infringement in regards to this song.

 

Matt & Becky: OHH!

 

Becky: It just got ugly.

 

Matt: Although now I’m intrigued at the title because…does the title, “Say You Won’t Let Go” refer to…

 

Becky: The booze?

 

Matt: …a Jameson bottle? Or James Arthur?

 

Becky: I’d go with the bottle of booze. *Laughs*

 

Matt: I think she’s certainly loving that!

 

Becky: THAT is good when you’re a ghost.

 

Matt: You know what pairs best with cirrhosis? Jameson. Informal plug.

 

Becky: Jameson if you would like to sponsor us…

 

Matt: Please let us know!

 

Becky: Please!

 

Matt: Please get us out of this studio.

 

Becky: This studio is hot and there’s guns a-blazin’ probably somewhere in Seattle right now. Okay everybody, thanks so much for listening. Please join us next time when we take a peak at the riveting lyrics of songs from the ‘90s. That’s right. I’m Becky.

 

Matt: I’m Matt.

 

Becky: And this was…

 

Becky & Matt: WHAT THE LYRIC?!?

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